I like to think of myself as a fair minded individual. I spent almost 20 years with a violent sociopath for a husband and only when I removed myself from the situation, did I cast judgement on his behaviour. I don’t need a medal for that but what I do need and still find myself searching for is understanding. I need to understand why he was the way he was. I know it wasn’t me but, by doing nothing, did I facilitate his behaviour and somehow make it acceptable…?
I ask this question because recently I submitted a complaint to Facebook. I use social media to connect with other authors, readers and survivors but, there are times when I stumble upon the kind of comments that make me stop and think.
The comment to which I am referring to was regarding suggested, extreme violence towards a woman. I don't know the woman in question more importantly, neither did the person leaving the comment, but I do know that the author of the comment suggested that he would kill her and used a derogatory term to refer to her.
I went through the brief, impersonal and clinical complaints procedure and asked the Facebook team to review the post. It didn’t take them long at all to write back to be with their decision not to remove the post so it is still out there in the public forum.
I have to admit, as I sit here on a cool Saturday afternoon in England; my reaction was not one of surprise but rather one of “So, it must be okay then.” Let’s be honest for a moment and take a step back to admire this picture of grotesque.
A man reacts to a video of a woman by suggesting he would “Kill the B**h,” and Facebook rule it’s okay to say that. At this point, I do need to be clear. It isn’t that fact that it’s man against woman, it’s that a person posted that comment and there is apparently nothing wrong with it. Now, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re a man saying it to a woman or a woman saying it to a man, it’s just plain wrong. It got me to thinking and the question I am left with, is this: How many acts of domestic abuse were from exposure to similar suggestions?
I don’t think the person who left the comment has any intention of harming anyone but how many other people reading that comment have it within their capability to cause hurt and harm to others, man or woman. How many impressionable people are reading that comment and thinking “What a great idea?” How many are now fantasising about harming another or causing hurt through verbal abuse?
Consider chaos theory for a second. Can we ever really be sure of a reaction to an external stimulus or is it largely based on pre-existing data and hypothesis? We know that when we toss a pebble into still water, it creates ripples. The suggestion, in the form of a comment on a social networking site, is the pebble here. My reaction was to report it for impropriety was merely one ripple. But what if I was open to suggestion and took it that it was okay to call people ‘bi**h,’ and openly suggest I’d kill them…what then…what if I went out onto the street right now and yelled at a random stranger that I would kill them? That’s the crux of the matter, I suppose; if it isn’t okay to it outside in the real world, then why is it okay to write it down and post it to a public forum.
I don’t believe that the Facebook ‘team’ are being deliberate in their naivety, but I do think that they really need to take a look at their policy and procedure and have some accountability. They may not be responsible for what people write on their pages, but they are responsible for allowing that content to be read and absorbed by impressionable individuals and/or groups. A loaded gun doesn’t kill; it’s the person wielding the gun that makes the choice to shoot or not. Granted, accidents do happen and in this case there are some comments on Facebook which could be overlooked by the public and not reported but, I still ask myself: Facebook, when alerted to comments regarding killing a person and referring to them in such demeaning terms…why do you allow this and what example do you think you are setting? The universe in all its superfluid magnitude, listens; and so I wonder, what kind of pebble will you toss?
I ask this question because recently I submitted a complaint to Facebook. I use social media to connect with other authors, readers and survivors but, there are times when I stumble upon the kind of comments that make me stop and think.
The comment to which I am referring to was regarding suggested, extreme violence towards a woman. I don't know the woman in question more importantly, neither did the person leaving the comment, but I do know that the author of the comment suggested that he would kill her and used a derogatory term to refer to her.
I went through the brief, impersonal and clinical complaints procedure and asked the Facebook team to review the post. It didn’t take them long at all to write back to be with their decision not to remove the post so it is still out there in the public forum.
I have to admit, as I sit here on a cool Saturday afternoon in England; my reaction was not one of surprise but rather one of “So, it must be okay then.” Let’s be honest for a moment and take a step back to admire this picture of grotesque.
A man reacts to a video of a woman by suggesting he would “Kill the B**h,” and Facebook rule it’s okay to say that. At this point, I do need to be clear. It isn’t that fact that it’s man against woman, it’s that a person posted that comment and there is apparently nothing wrong with it. Now, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re a man saying it to a woman or a woman saying it to a man, it’s just plain wrong. It got me to thinking and the question I am left with, is this: How many acts of domestic abuse were from exposure to similar suggestions?
I don’t think the person who left the comment has any intention of harming anyone but how many other people reading that comment have it within their capability to cause hurt and harm to others, man or woman. How many impressionable people are reading that comment and thinking “What a great idea?” How many are now fantasising about harming another or causing hurt through verbal abuse?
Consider chaos theory for a second. Can we ever really be sure of a reaction to an external stimulus or is it largely based on pre-existing data and hypothesis? We know that when we toss a pebble into still water, it creates ripples. The suggestion, in the form of a comment on a social networking site, is the pebble here. My reaction was to report it for impropriety was merely one ripple. But what if I was open to suggestion and took it that it was okay to call people ‘bi**h,’ and openly suggest I’d kill them…what then…what if I went out onto the street right now and yelled at a random stranger that I would kill them? That’s the crux of the matter, I suppose; if it isn’t okay to it outside in the real world, then why is it okay to write it down and post it to a public forum.
I don’t believe that the Facebook ‘team’ are being deliberate in their naivety, but I do think that they really need to take a look at their policy and procedure and have some accountability. They may not be responsible for what people write on their pages, but they are responsible for allowing that content to be read and absorbed by impressionable individuals and/or groups. A loaded gun doesn’t kill; it’s the person wielding the gun that makes the choice to shoot or not. Granted, accidents do happen and in this case there are some comments on Facebook which could be overlooked by the public and not reported but, I still ask myself: Facebook, when alerted to comments regarding killing a person and referring to them in such demeaning terms…why do you allow this and what example do you think you are setting? The universe in all its superfluid magnitude, listens; and so I wonder, what kind of pebble will you toss?